I'm really down. I'm entering my last week of work and I'm really nervous about the transition work that I have to do. My replacement/consultant is here and is shadowing me and I don't have all the information to provide for him yet.
The new apartment is also ready but I'm not excited at all. I have this ambivalent relationship to Joe. And to all those folks at the house. I like them. But then I hate them. I feel bad when I'm around them. I feel like the dumbest person, the least accomplished, and the most lost. And I don't know how I'm going to deal with living with such people. It's not that I think I'm better than my current roommates. We're just all living and struggling and thinking together. It's not like I don't think that my current roommates have it better now either. I think they're doing well; they're young; they have plans; they have their men.
Everything just gets me down. Friendster makes me depressed. I see all the hot guys and their hot friends. And I don't have those friends. And my current friends don't seem to help me out in this department. It sucks. I don't do well by myself. Could use their help but they don't know gay guys. Or I'm too embarassed to ask for such help.
I have no interests and no experiences and no stories. I'm just a loser. Nothing special about me. :( Argh!!!
posted by Joe 8:01 PM